"W" #12: Return Costumers

Contributed by:
Eric Dunaway
small groups pastor

I remember several years ago I heard a guy say something that I thought was pretty weird. This was an older man that I was in ministry with at the time, and he was known for being kind of a rascal. I forget the context of the comment, and even the exact wording, but somehow the subject of marriage had come up. Now, this guy was married to a sweet woman, and there were some who generally regarded her with a mild sense of pity for the way her evangelist husband would drag her around from this place to that - all in the name of ministry. As we were talking about marriage, on this particular occasion, at some point he added that if anything ever happened to his dear wife, he would just have to get married again. Keep in mind, she was standing right next to him, and was privy to all that was being said. I actually thought it was pretty insensitive, but he was trying to make a point. His intention with that comment was to say that marriage had been such a good experience, he'd readily jump right back into it again if given the chance.


I told you it was a weird comment, and I don't recommend using that line on your spouse in an anniversary card. However, the concept behind what he was trying to convey has some positive implications that I believe translate into a real win for our groups.

The reality is that groups have a shelf life. Call it the circle of life. Groups are born, and groups die. And even if a group doesn't die, members come and go - and so our participation with this group or that will eventually come to an end ("W" #11 is actually about groups "knowing when to say when"). The thing we have to look at, however, is how that group - or group experience - comes to an end, and what happens next. All that to say, when a group member leaves one group eager and ready to join another group, that's a BIG win!

Just because our group, or our participation with any specific group, may come to an end, it doesn't mean that it has to be the end of groups for us. We hope that members have a good enough experience in those groups that they're excited about joining a new one. But just because we may have had a bad experience with one group doesn't mean that every group will create that same experience. Regardless, when we see that someone has left one group experience and jumped into another, that's a win we celebrate.

How would you rate your current group experience? If your group were to end next week, what would you do? Do you feel that you, or other members of the group, would try to connect with a new group? If yes, then you're either (probably) very satisfied with your group experience, or simply that committed to being in a small group. However, if you question whether or not you would join a new group, what does that tell you about your current group experience? Are their things you and the other members can do to improve it?

We've put together a transitional resource for our groups called Continuing the Journey, which offers a lot of insight that could help your group get back on track (or on track, for that matter). Comments or questions?