Wednesday, February 9, 2011

"W" #5: Accountability

Contributed by:
Eric Dunaway
small groups pastor

A few weeks ago I began to work through a list of what I'm calling the "wins" for our life groups at PCC. These "wins" are the things, as Reggie Joiner says, that we celebrate as we see them happening in our groups. And this series of posts is designed to clarify those "wins" for our groups. Here's this week's "W": Accountability.

Does this word scare anyone? It does me, a little. I'll be honest. In fact, my first experience with accountability literally had me breaking into a cold sweat, and calculating my move toward the exit. It happened my freshman year at Taylor Fort Wayne when some upper class-men in my wing approached me at random, and asked if I'd like to join their accountability group. Not really sure what this was, I quickly agreed. Next thing I can remember is the four of us crowded in a dorm room as we all took turns going around the room and dishing our dirt to one another. I was the last one to share, which gave me plenty of time to second-guess my decision.

As it turned out, however, I discovered a couple of things that night that have shaped me in profound ways:
  1. There are others out there who struggle with the same things with which I struggle. 
  2. I need others around me to help me grow spiritually.
I found the courage to open up to these guys, and began to find the encouragement, and at times the challenging confrontation, I needed to grow up in my faith. That group, more than any other thing that year, had a deeply profound impact on my spiritual growth in that transitional stage of my life. And I remained connected to those guys for years after... one of them to this day.
You use steel to sharpen steel,
and one friend sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17 (MSG)
Who do you have in your life who is there to sharpen you? In your life group, how are you coming around one another to encourage the life change you see happening? This can, by its very nature, be an awkward thing to start, as I've shared with you already. But it doesn't have to be. Accountability can be experienced in simple ways - like sharing with the group the things that God has been teaching you, or changes you need to make in your life. Accountability is experienced, then, as those trusted and caring friends follow up with that from week to week. "Hey, Eric - how are you doing with that thing you shared last week? Have you been reading your Bible more like you said you needed to do? Have you stopped eating so much cookie dough like you said you were going to do? Have you been updating your blog once a week like you committed to do?"

And once in a while you may connect with a trusted friend or two with whom you feel absolutely comfortable sharing your deepest struggles. In fact, this will likely happen outside of your group meetings. But in those times, the hardest part is to be real... and to be honest... and to be open. But when you do, I've always found that the response is not one of judgment or ridicule, but of respect and love and mutuality. And the effect is one that encourages growth in our lives.

That's what groups are for! Sin can remain hidden, and life transformation can easily be stinted, when we remain isolated from others. But community offers accountability. And that's a real "win" for our groups!

2 comments:

  1. I want; I crave it for my family... but trusting is something I struggle with, not becasue I want to hide something, but because I fear. What advice would you give a person like me.. who would like to connect in this way but is afraid?

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  2. Take a step back and ask, "what do I fear?" and "who is the author of Fear?" Fear comes from our sin nature which was born in the garden of Eden (and it wasn't born of God.) When we fear, we identify to whom we trust. At every moment of every day, with every breath I breathe, I serve one of two gods. The choice is mine but I can't choose "to not serve". With every breath, I either serve the God of ALL gods, King of ALL kings, Master and Author of the universe, OR I serve the god of MYSELF. No matter how we slice it, I'm serving HIM or I'm serving ME. When I am in control of my life, I have plenty to fear! When HE is in control, I can rest -- there is NOTHING to fear! NOTHING! NO THING or PERSON or IMAGINED CONCEPT! Nothing. Our culture and our society tempt us with all kinds of fear, and fear is real! We dare not disregard or disrespect fear. Fear will demolish buildings, shatter families, destroy relationships and devastate individual lives, etc., etc.,..... when we allow it. But the choice is ours. Who will we serve? This is not some religious platitude or plausible ideal. This is the real simplicity of being a "believer". I either "believe" God's Word or I don't. To believe His Word requires action. "Believe" is a verb -- to believe is to accept ALL of what He has to say, and that involves trust. Yet here we have a simple choice, again. Do I believe it all or am I wanting to pick and choose the parts that I find fit me best? To "believe" leaves no room for fear. To pick and choose the parts that I like is to NOT BELIEVE God's Word. So graciously, He did not provide a way of "sliding down the middle" of those choices. He said you either trust me, believe me and cherish my laws, or you despise me (regardless of what you may say or do to please others in public.) So what do I have to fear in being held accountable? Might it be the fear of uncovering the fear that keeps me from a truly intimate relationship with God?

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